


The Shadows at Our Feet

by thekatthatbarks



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:01:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22863712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekatthatbarks/pseuds/thekatthatbarks
Summary: The son of the head of the clan and he still hadn’t found the person to give him his shadow. A clan that was famous for their shadow jutsu.If only it was simpler, something like meeting them would give you your shadow. But no, the gods must have thought that would be too easy. They had to love you. They had to be your soulmate and they had to love you for everything that you were. His mother liked to lament that if someone met their soulmate, they would likely love them anyway. That’s why they were called soulmates. But Shikamaru didn’t see how it could be treated so simply.“What if I never get my shadow?”
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Nara Shikamaru
Comments: 13
Kudos: 383





	The Shadows at Our Feet

**Author's Note:**

  * For [raendown](https://archiveofourown.org/users/raendown/gifts).



For many people the trouble of finding a soulmate wasn’t seen as that big of a deal. If you didn’t, you could still find love and your life wasn’t very impacted.

But for a Nara, it was a lot more… _troublesome_.

***

“Well, hopefully it will happen when you’re young, Shikamaru.” His father glanced at him with a smile as he read his newspaper. Shikamaru could see the worry in his eyes though and how it seemed to worsen each year Shikamaru went without a soulmate.

_Shikamaru already was young._

Shikamaru tsked. “Why did we make this our technique anyway? When so many people don’t even have _shadows_.”

Shikaku turned the page. “It’s still a valuable jutsu, son, maybe even more so with not everyone having a shadow.” Shikamaru understood that he couldn’t help his frustrations. For his clan members to have only a chance at using the shadow technique they specialized in felt so cruel and disappointing.

Shikamaru looked down at his plate. The son of the head of the clan and he still hadn’t found the person to give him his shadow. _A clan that was famous for their shadow jutsu._

If only it was simpler, something like meeting them would give you your shadow. But no, the gods must have thought that would be too easy. They had to _love_ you. They had to be your soulmate and they had to _love_ you for everything that you were. His mother liked to lament that if someone met their soulmate, they would likely love them anyway. That’s why they were called _soulmates_. But Shikamaru didn’t see how it could be treated so simply.

“What if I never get my shadow?” Shikamaru finally seriously posed the question. It had riddled his mind at night, when he looked at clouds, when he saw shadows in the streets. But he’d never said it outright. Not since he was little, and his father had simply ruffled his hair and told him not to worry about it.

Shikaku sighed and put down his paper. He met Shikamaru’s eyes and shrugged. “Then, you don’t get it, Shikamaru. And that’s _fine_. You are a more than capable shinobi without using our shadow jutsu. You don’t _need_ it.”

_But he wanted it, it belonged to his family. Something he could be proud of. How could he not want it?_

Shikamaru didn’t say any of it, knowing he’d sound like a toddler stomping their foot up at the gods. He gave his father a nod and stood up from the table, excusing himself from breakfast much to his mother’s disappointment.

***

Sakura had thought at first that she didn’t love Sasuke enough and that was why his shadow hadn’t appeared. But even through all the years, nothing had changed. After the final battle, she saw his shadow lay at the bottom of his feet as she fought to keep his and Naruto’s hearts beating.

She knew it wasn’t because of her.

She moved on with some heartbreaking acceptance. Maybe she would find her shadow. Maybe she wouldn’t. _Did it really matter?_

***

“You’re not even trying!” Ino yelled at him exasperated and Shikamaru felt his anger start to rise.

“Ino, you _know_ how –“ He turned on her. Out of everyone, she knew. She knew how much finding his shadow meant to him. How it had started off as something that was expected of him. Then, something he wanted for his family. Then, a challenge. But now, it was just something he felt he needed, just for him, for his sake.

“I know,” She interrupted him, her eyes hard as her breath left her. “I know, Shika. So, why won’t you try this out? Go on a date with her.”

Shikamaru sighed and pulled out a cigarette, not looking at her. “It’s not her, Ino. I don’t think this is supposed to work like that.”

Ino gave him a sad smile and then bumped his shoulder with hers. “Then, just do it to do it. Forget about the whole soulmate thing. Don’t you like her?”

Shikamaru shook his head, knowing it was a lie or at least a partial lie. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t _forget_.

Ino let it go and didn’t push it again.

Shikamaru stopped actively looking, wanting to move on with his life without it looming over his head. He never stopped waiting, though. Hoping that he’d find them. Just to prove that there was someone out there for him.

***

“It should only take a second,” Sakura told him, his broken arm in her capable hands. Shikamaru winced as her chakra moved through him, mending the bone back together. It was always an odd feeling being healed, to have someone else’s chakra twist around your own. Sakura’s always felt so light as it moved before it dived deep where it needed to go and turned into this intense energy that felt like the first breath after drowning.

Shikamaru felt exhausted after she pulled away with beads of sweat on her forehead. He felt guilt at her having to use so much chakra on him while they were still in a dangerous area. But he had miscalculated, and mis stepped in the heat of a fight. At least Sakura hadn’t sustained any serious injuries besides teetering on the edge of chakra exhaustion. 

Shikamaru moved his arm, knowing Sakura wouldn’t be satisfied he was completely healed until he did so. She smiled, her eyes going up to meet his. He felt himself give her a smile back. “Thank you, Sakura-chan.”

She shook her head, shrugging off his thanks and then looked around them. After a moment, she relaxed and sat beside him at the base of the tree he leaned against. “I think we’re safe for now.”

Shikamaru nodded, trying to sense anyone nearby and coming up empty.

He didn’t get too many missions with Sakura. But usually if he was on a mission that needed infiltration or strategic planning, she was his partner or at least on the team. He could see why. Sakura was a great strategist and incredibly smart. He had started to find comfort when she went on missions with him. He liked how she was interested in his plans and his way of thinking, challenging things when she thought there was a better route. He preferred it so much more to blind faith that a few people gave him. 

“We’ll have to wait a few days before trying again,” Shikamaru told her regretfully. It would be best to strike when the iron was hot, before the enemy could go to camp and lick their wounds. But they needed to do the same and neither of them wanted to risk their lives if there was another path to take. “They’ll get back to their false sense of safety and let their guard down. We can sneak in then. We at least know the route inside the compound now.”

Sakura leaned against him tiredly. “That’s probably the best. I’m exhausted. I probably couldn’t throw a small child if I wanted to.”

Shikamaru snorted and glanced down at her. “Do you often measure your strength with how well you could throw a child?”

Sakura chuckled and shrugged. “Sometimes.”

“I’m going to tell Kurenai to not let you babysit Marai anymore.”

Sakura hit him lightly in the chest, making him laugh.

They waited a few more minutes, still catching their breath and regaining some strength. Then, they quietly moved out, needing to set up camp far away enough from their targets before resting. They would be on high alert for the rest of the night and tomorrow and Shikamaru didn’t want to run into another fight.

When they had put some good distance between them and the compound, they dropped down to the road and started walking. Shikamaru looked up longingly at the sky and sighed, crossing his arms behind his head. “Man, I’ll be happy when we get home and I can do some cloud watching.”

Sakura rolled her eyes beside him with an amused smile. “Why do you enjoy that so much anyway?”

“It’s…” Shikamaru tried to think of how to put it. “It’s relaxing. Sometimes I feel like they help me put my thoughts in order. Other times, they just… make me think nothing at all.”

Sakura looked at him thoughtfully, then smiled. “I’ll have to try it out then.”

***

Shikamaru had been laying in the grass, the cool breeze washing over his face as he stared up at the sky and tried to not think about anything.

“Mind if I join you?”

He must’ve been out of it to not notice her walking up the hill. He looked up at her curiously. Sakura stood there with a small smile, dressed in her white coat with her hair up. Her eyes had the smallest flicker of nervousness in them. They’d always considered each other friends but had never really hung out one-on-one – _missions really didn’t count_. It made him feel like there was more to her question than what was on the surface.

Shikamaru shrugged against the ground and tried to ease her nerves with a lazy smile. “Sure.”

Sakura laid down beside him, shrugging off her coat and balling it up to use as a pillow. Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at her. “Aren’t you guys supposed to treat the coats with respect or something?”

Sakura rolled her eyes. “Oh, shut up. I’ll wash it later.”

Shikamaru chuckled and they drifted into a content quiet. He thought Sakura might have too much antsy energy in her to just lay there for so long, but he’d been wrong. She quietly stared up at the clouds, watching them go by and fade like he did. He felt her eyes drift to him sometimes, but they didn’t linger.

Eventually, he asked her, “So, what happened?”

“What do you mean?” Sakura looked at him confused, slightly startled by the sound of his voice after a near hour of silence.

“Well,” – Shikamaru waved a hand in the air – “you’re still dressed in your hospital outfit so I’m assuming you came straight here. Looking for relaxation or whatever. So… what happened?”

Sakura sighed. “You and your stupid smart mind, always picking everything up.”

Shikamaru fought back a laugh at the sentence. “I mean, you don’t have to tell me. Just thought I’d ask.”

She paused before telling him, “I don’t know. It just felt like a lot today, but maybe it’s been feeling like a lot just in general. One of my patients mentioned it was a nice day out and it got me to thinking about you, wondering if you were out here doing your cloud watching and if you were onto something.”

He snorted. “I don’t think I’m onto anything.”

Sakura laughed lightly and replied softly, “You know what I meant.” 

Shikamaru looked over at her, her eyes looking up at the clouds like she was searching for something with a sad smile. “So, do you think I’m onto something?”

Sakura met his eyes, pursing her lips. “I don’t know. I don’t think I got to the point of thinking completely nothing, but it seemed to calm my thoughts a bit.”

He didn’t know what compelled him to say, “Maybe you’ll have to keep trying it.” Like her question earlier, there was more meaning than what was on the outside.

Sakura’s smile was warmer when she replied, “Yeah, maybe.” Shikamaru couldn’t explain the kind of relief that gave him.

***

Sakura came by to join him a few more times over the following weeks. They never said much, neither of them being one for idle meaningless chit chat. But Shikamaru still found it comforting and it felt like they were growing closer even with so few words exchanged.

Shikamaru had just come home from a meeting with his councilman – another dull meeting filled with numbers on deer population, medical stock, and random updates on clan members. Another meeting where some of the elders took his quietness as disinterest and laziness. He knew a certain few of them were thinking of ways to bring up switching over clan head to someone else even after four years – _he was sure if it ever came to it, they would throw their own names into the ring_. He was too young, inexperienced, and in way over his head.

While Shikamaru would admit to more than a few of his flaws and that he did find the title a little intimidating, he had no desire to give it up. He wasn’t a punk kid anymore and he understood responsibility. He was never meant to get the title so young, but he wasn’t going to dishonor his father by doing a shit job either. He’d been unsure of a few things in the beginning and might have been reluctant to make such big decisions that affected the whole clan. But he felt like he was getting past that. A lot of the clan were proud of him and had faith in his leadership. There were only a few that had their doubts. But Shikamaru was never one to let others’ opinions weigh him down.

Shikamaru was washing the dishes as he thought about what his mother had told him over dinner. How she loved and appreciated him, but that he didn’t need to stay with her and she would be fine on her own. The thought of moving out had crossed his mind on more than one occasion but he had never entertained it for long. He knew he could get a house nearby and come to visit often. But it felt wrong leaving her just a few years after his father died.

He continued mulling it over until he heard a light knock on the front door.

Shikamaru figured it was Ino or Choji coming by for a late visit. He dried off his hands, waiting for the door to open as they always simply invited themselves in. But when no one did, Shikamaru walked out of the kitchen curiously, wondering who would visit this late beside his two best friends.

When he opened the door, he was welcomed with the sight of Sakura leaning against one of the posts and looking up at the sky. She turned when the door opened and gave him a smile. _He chose to ignore how his heart skipped a beat._

“Sakura? Is something wrong?” Shikamaru didn’t think Sakura had ever been to his house before. For her to just show up late and out of nowhere, made him slightly worried.

She shook her head and stepped towards him, letting out a short breath. “Are you busy?”

“No…” Shikamaru gave her a confused smile.

Her face brightened and she glanced to the side. He could see a hint of nervousness in the way she stood with her hands hidden under her – _was that a blanket?_ “Well, I had an idea earlier that I think you might enjoy.” She looked back to him and then added in an uncertain voice, her smile faltering. “If you’re not too tired.”

_He was._ “I’m not.” Shikamaru had complained most of his life about being tired and sneaking out of most social things. But he’d outgrown that. _Even if he hadn’t, he wasn’t sure he could say no to the way Sakura smiled nervously at him._

Shikamaru realized he should’ve closed the door and stepped outside to talk to her when his mother called from inside the house, “Shika-kun? Who is it?”

“It’s Sakura!” Shikamaru yelled back at her reluctantly, knowing what was to come.

“Sakura-chan?” She called back and Shikamaru sighed as he heard footsteps. Sakura chuckled under her breath in front of him.

His mother appeared at his shoulder seconds later to smile at Sakura. “Sakura-chan, how are you? Would you like to come inside? My son’s so rude making you stand out here on the porch in the dark.”

Shikamaru rolled his eyes at her, making her elbow him in the side when she noticed.

Sakura smiled at her with a faint blush on her cheeks. “I’ve been well, Yoshino-san. And no thank you. I was actually inviting Shikamaru out for… something.”

She raised an eyebrow at her and then looked to Shikamaru, her smile turning sly as she pushed him forward. “Well, then, have fun!”

The door closed behind him, barely missing his ponytail as he stumbled forward. Shikamaru felt his face warm as he huffed through his teeth. He looked to Sakura to see her fighting back a laugh. He gave her an embarrassed smile as he scratched the back of his head and shrugged. “So, what was your idea?”

Sakura did laugh then and simply turned back down the steps. Shikamaru fell into step beside her as she told him, “I thought since you liked cloud watching so much, you might like stargazing.”

“Yeah, I think I would,” Shikamaru told her, something warm sprouting in his chest.

The tension in Sakura’s shoulders eased and she smiled as she looked at him. She shrugged. “I don’t know where to go though.”

Shikamaru turned on his heel and jerked his head. “I know a nice spot in the forest.”

Sakura walked beside him but looked at him hesitantly. “The Nara Forest? Are you sure?”

“Yeah, Sakura.” He chuckled. “This is me, _the clan head_ , inviting you into our forest.”

Sakura nodded with a small laugh and followed him to their forest.

***

Shikamaru smiled as Sakura walked next to him, her eyes drifting to the scenery around them. They caught the attention of a few of the deer, but they let them be. The forest was getting thicker as they went through it, but Shikamaru knew it like the back of his hand. There was a small clearing a little more south with a nice hill on it. It was where he went when he really didn’t want to be found.

He quickly remembered Sakura _didn’t_ know the forest like the back her hand when he had to reach out and catch her before she could trip over a tree root. Sakura laughed softly, looking at him with a blush in her cheeks. “You know, some would say I’m one of the greatest shinobi. Jokes on them. I’m from the Leaf and trip over tree roots.”

Shikamaru let go of her with a chuckle. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone.” He didn’t tell her he could watch her trip over hundreds of tree roots and he’d still think she was one of the most impressive people he knew.

When they reached the clearing, Sakura looked around in awe and then up at the night sky. She turned to him with a wide smile. “This is beautiful.”

He smiled back at her and they climbed up the small hill. Sakura laid out the actually very large blanket and Shikamaru couldn’t help his snort.

Sakura rolled her eyes at him. “While laying on the grass isn’t all that bad, blankets are nice, too, _Shika-kun_.”

Shikamaru’s face warmed at her teasing and clicked his tongue against his cheek before laying down. Sakura giggled before lying down beside him.

They were quiet for a moment as they gazed up at the stars with only Sakura’s soft sigh. “This is pretty amazing.”

Shikamaru hummed beside her and they drifted into their comfortable silence. The night became a first in other ways as Sakura turned her head towards him and asked, “How is being clan head, anyway?”

Shikamaru glanced at her thrown off by the question and then back to the stars. He folded his arms behind his head as he answered, “It’s alright. I like the work and consider it an honor.”

“But it’s tiring, isn’t it? Being so young and in charge of so many people?” Sakura’s voice was quiet, almost comforting.

Shikamaru felt himself laugh and finally admitted out loud. “Yes, yes, it is.”

He saw her smile out of the corner of his eye as she told him, “I’m sure you’ll get used to it and it won’t be so hard.”

She didn’t tell him to quit or to suck it up or even that maybe he just wasn’t cut out for it. She didn’t even tell him he was doing a good job. Shikamaru sighed, wondering how someone he barely talked to had understood what he needed to hear. Just some reassurance, some _hope_.

“Aren’t you in a similar position? Being medical director?” Shikamaru asked her back.

Sakura let out a deep breath. “Yeah, it’s been kind of hard since Tsunade left with Shizune, going back to their travelling.”

They continued back and forth like that, sharing small parts of them they hadn’t before. Shikamaru didn’t think he’d ever talked so much about himself before. But Sakura laid there next to him, her shoulder brushing his even on the large blanket, her soft eyes taking in every word he said.

She gave as much back and Shikamaru regretted not becoming better friends with her before.

At some point, she sat up and leaned on her elbow looking down at him with a warm smile. The moon was shining down on them, her skin soaked in the light as her hair had a shine to it as it moved around her shoulders. “Well, I think it might be time to call it a night. You already looked tired when I picked you up.”

Shikamaru didn’t argue with her and helped her fold up her blanket before walking back to his house. Sakura paused at the foot of his steps, looking up at him with that soft pink on her cheeks. “Thanks for this, Shikamaru. It was fun. The sky was really beautiful.”

He smiled back at her, the rhythm of his heart going off beat. “Yeah, it was.”

She told him goodnight and Shikamaru slipped quietly back into his house to not wake his mother up.

_He was going to have admit at some point, at least to himself, that he’d barely looked at the stars that night, all too distracted by another beauty._

***

“Shika-kun!” Shikamaru heard as soon as he’d slid open the door and felt himself smile.

“Hey Akiko-chan.” He went over to the little girl on the bed and handed her the flowers.

She giggled and buried her face in them before smiling shyly up at him. “You don’t have to keep bringing me flowers, Shika-kun.”

Shikamaru chuckled and took the flowers when she gave them back. Just like routine, he switched them out with the dying ones in her flower vase by the window. “Hospitals are such a drag. I’ll give you anything that helps lighten up your day.”

She shrugged from the bed and said quietly, “I just like it when you come by.”

“Then, I’ll keep coming by.” He ignored how his heart ached and turned back to her with a smile. “At least until you get sick of me.”

She laughed, scrunching up her now. “I don’t think I could get sick of you, Shika-kun.”

He chuckled with her and reached for one of the bags near the guest cot. “So, what game are we playing today?”

They played for a while and then Shikamaru glanced at the clock, realizing he needed to leave soon. His chest had a heavy weight to it as Akiko followed his eyes and then smiled sadly at him, “Shika-kun, you can –“

There was a light knocking on the door before someone stepped into the room. They both looked to see Sakura reading over a chart before she looked up with a polite smile. When her eyes met Shikamaru’s, she gave him a surprised smile. “Shikamaru?”

He smiled back at her, a fuzzy feeling in his head as she tucked her hair behind her ear. “Hey, Sakura-chan. Are you Akiko’s doctor? I thought it was Miwa-san?”

Sakura glanced at the curious child on the bed and gave her an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, Akiko-chan. Miwa-san has come down with a something so I’m going to be your medic until she gets better. My name is Haruno Sakura and I’m a friend of Miwa-san’s. She’s asked me to take very good care of you and I intend to do just do that. Are you alright with that?”

Akiko nodded and asked worriedly, “Is she going to be okay? Is she sick like me?” 

Shikamaru’s chest felt tight and he put a comforting hand on Akiko’s back.

Sakura shook her head and Shikamaru could see that slither of sadness she wasn’t able to hide away in her eyes. “No, Akiko-chan. Miwa-san just has a cold. She’ll be up here running around with her goofy smile in no time.”

Akiko smiled at her, looking relieved. “Okay, Sakura-san.”

Sakura walked over to her and asked her a couple questions before putting her clipboard down. She raised a hand towards Akiko. “I’m going to run some test on you with my chakra before we take you to do some scans.”

Shikamaru couldn’t explain the feeling he had as Sakura waited for Akiko’s nod before reaching out to gently lay her down and run her hands over her.

After Sakura was done, she held out a hand for Akiko and she hopped down from the bed. Another medic appeared at the door with a small wheelchair. “Ready, Akiko-chan?”

Akiko hesitated, then turned to Shikamaru as he stood up from the bed and hugged his legs. “I’ll see you later, Shika-kun.”

He ruffled her hair with a smile. “You bet, Akiko-chan.”

Akiko left with the other medic while Shikamaru stood there watching her go as Sakura finished some notes on her chart. Shikamaru cleared his throat before asking, “How is she looking?”

Sakura looked at him with a sad smile. “She’s not any worse than last month.”

Shikamaru sighed. “But not any better, either.”

She shook her head and glanced back down at the chart. “We’ll keep looking but…”

Shikamaru interrupted before he had to listen to the same spiel again. _Chakra can’t heal everything. It’s not a cure all. Certain cells are irreparable. Brain and lung cells are very different from skin and bone cells._ He had already known what they could try and what wouldn’t work. He didn’t know as much as Sakura, but he had studied the Nara medical books growing up. He understood more than some people might assume. “I know.”

Sakura nodded and changed the subject. “Do you visit her often?”

“Yeah, we all try to visit her as often as we can, and she seems attached to me for some odd reason.” Shikamaru tried to keep up with all his clan members, asking after them and wanting to know about any serious injuries. But Akiko was so young, he favored her a bit and had made a habit of visiting her when he wasn’t too busy.

Sakura smiled softly to herself. “I can’t imagine why.” She turned on her heel, glancing back at him. “Well, I have to go do some more rounds. I’ll see you around.”

Shikamaru nodded and stepped into the hall after her. His feet paused as he watched her walk down the hallway, turning to someone with a smile. She tucked her hair behind her ear and Shikamaru held back a chuckle as the hair stubbornly untucked itself.

Realizing he was blatantly staring, he moved in the other direction before someone could notice. He thought about that soft smile of hers as he walked out of the hospital. About how she threw her head back when she laughed. About the warm pink when she blushed…

Shikamaru groaned and ran a hand down his face.

_He had on a crush on her, didn’t he?_

***

“Well, yeah it sounds like you like her.” Choji stated the obvious as they walked.

“Yeah, I think I figured that out for myself, Choji. I was kind of trying to figure out what _do_ about it.” Shikamaru sighed. “If I should do anything at all…”

“I appreciate that you’re asking me.” Choji gave him a grin and then shrugged. “But I’m not really the best person to ask since I’ve never dated anyone.”

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. “Not like I really have either. Who else am I supposed to ask anyway? You’re my best friend and it’s not like I’m going to ask _Ino_. Who knows what she would do?”

Choji chuckled. “She’d probably lose her mind with excitement.”

Shikamaru felt himself smile. “And we don’t need an Ino with a lost mind.”

Choji let out a deep laugh and pulled out some snack from the pouch on his hip – Shikamaru thought it was jerky. They walked quietly for a minute, then Choji told him, “I think you need to just forget about shadows.”

Shikamaru looked over at him in mild surprise. “I wasn’t even – “

“I know you were. At least a little.” Choji gave him an apologetic smile, but his eyes were serious. “But just forget about it. She could be and she couldn’t be. It doesn’t matter. Just ask her out.”

Shikamaru sighed. “I’ll think about it.”

Choji added, “She’s not seeing anyone. I’ve seen her around with Sasuke and Naruto, but it doesn’t look like she’s dating either of them.”

Shikamaru nodded and Choji let the subject drop.

***

Shikamaru sighed and then knocked on the door. _What the hell._

Sakura answered the door a few moments later. She smiled seeing it was him. “Hey, Shikamaru!”

Shikamaru smiled back at her, feeling his nerves coil in his stomach. “Hey.”

She raised an eyebrow at him and stepped aside. “Do you want to come inside?”

“I actually wanted to know if you wanted to have dinner with me.” Shikamaru told her, feeling his face warm.

She gave him an odd look – _probably because of how he just blurted it out_ – but then smiled amused. She glanced inside her apartment. “Yeah, sure. Just let me grab my – “

Shikamaru felt his heart rate pick up, wondering if he was about to ruin this growing friendship they’d built. But he had to let her know. He cleared his throat and she turned back to him in the middle of her sentence. He gave her a nervous smile and hoped his voice was steadier than it felt. “I meant as a date.”

Sakura’s lips parted in surprise, a blush sprouting on her cheeks. It was a second before she nodded, her blush deepening as she tucked her hair behind her ear. “I’d love to.” She jerked her head inside with a smile. “Can you give me a minute to get ready then?”

Shikamaru tried to not breathe out in relief as he scratched the back of his neck. He shrugged, not able to stop his smile. “You don’t have to. I’m not really – “

“I don’t mind, but I’d like to if you don’t mind waiting a few minutes.” She interrupted; her voice warm. “I just want to change.”

Shikamaru nodded and followed her into the apartment. Sakura gestured to the couch and then kept walking to her room. “I’ll be just a moment!” she called over her shoulder and then he heard a door shutting.

Shikamaru all but fell against the couch, finally letting out that breath of relief. He leaned his head back and wished for his racing heart to calm down. He didn’t have to wait long before Sakura was walking back into the room. He didn’t know if the time alone had increased his nerves or settled them, but he stood up anyway.

Sakura smiled at him, now out of whatever clothes she lays around the house in and in a simple lilac dress. Shikamaru was relieved at how easy the words spilled from his mouth, “You look beautiful.”

Sakura laughed lightly. “Thank you, Shikamaru.” Her smile was nervous, but he could see some excitement in her eyes, and it made the tension in his chest ease. “So, where are we going?”

Though it had its moments of awkwardness when they remembered they were on a date, for the most part, it had that same ease of conversation they’d developed over the last few months. His heart rate would calm down to only spike up again when Sakura bit her lip as she eyed him nervously. He felt his face warm more than once, but Sakura had a faint pink dusting her cheeks most of the night, so he didn’t feel too embarrassed about it.

He walked her home afterwards and Sakura gave him a smile that was somehow both bashful and confident as she leaned her back against her front door. “Think you’ll want to take me out again?”

Shikamaru stepped towards her with a chuckle. “Yeah, I think I will if you’ll let me,” he told her softly.

Sakura looked up at him and then hummed as her fingers grabbed his hips and tugged him closer. Shikamaru felt his heart race in the seconds before she said, “Maybe. I want to see something first though.”

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow as her hands snaked up his chest to rest behind his neck. Her smile turned coy, her voice low and soft in the night. “If you’ll go for it, Shikamaru.”

Shikamaru felt a chuckle vibrate in his chest and he wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her flush against him. She bit her lip as she met his eyes and he brought his other hand up to hold her face. Sakura’s eyes fluttering closed with her cheeks a warm pink had to be one of the most beautiful things he’d ever seen.

Kissing Sakura felt like taking a breath. It was easy and his lips seemed to know exactly how to fit naturally with hers. It was like their relationship; tentative and slow but filled with _something_. The way her arms locked around him and pulled him closer as she reached up on her toes made him think she felt it too.

***

Sakura woke up slowly if not painfully. The first thing she saw was white and she hated it. It was so blinding, and she felt like she hadn’t opened her eyes in days. She blinked in an attempt to ease the burning and turned her head to the person she felt on her right.

Naruto grinned at her; his eyes tired. “Hey, Sakura-chan. How’re you feeling?”

Sakura opened her mouth to reply, her throat feeling dry, but then she caught a movement out of the corner of her eye. She looked to see Shikamaru leaning against the windowsill, his arms crossed over his chest as he smiled softly at her.

If Sakura’s head hadn’t felt so foggy, she would’ve felt bad about completely ignoring Naruto’s question. Her voice felt rough as she spoke, “Shikamaru?”

Naruto leaned back in his chair and watched with a curious expression as Shikamaru stepped towards her bed. “What do you need?”

“Water.” Sakura tried for a smile and Shikamaru nodded. He slipped out of the room a second later.

Sakura turned back to Naruto to see his eyes on the closed door. She cleared her throat and his eyes went back to her with a smile. She looked at him tiredly. “I just feel tired. How long was I out?”

“A couple days.” Naruto shrugged.

Sakura moved to sit up in the bed and instantly felt dizzy, groaning and laying back down. Naruto’s hand was on her shoulder, steadying her as she grabbed her head. “Sakura, you know you don’t need to be moving around a lot, just stay laying down.”

Sakura sighed and reached down under the sheets to her stomach to feel at where a sword had sliced through her days ago. Stitches aligned it and Sakura winced – another scar to add to the list. She mentally shrugged; it was worth it. “How’s my team?”

Naruto’s voice was a weird mix of pride and worry. “They’re okay. You had the worst injury along with the chakra exhaustion. They probably wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you, you know.”

Sakura sighed and closed her eyes. She didn’t _want_ to go back to sleep, but she needed to re-center herself. “That’s all that matters.”

Naruto didn’t reply, though she knew his sigh was at her willingness to die to keep her team alive. She ignored it; it was a fight that they’d had too many times with both of them in the hot seat.

Shikamaru returned a few seconds later with a pitcher of water and a glass. He set them on the small table beside her bed and glanced at her as he filled the glass. “Can you sit up?”

Sakura hesitated before telling him with a faint blush, “Not by myself and not much. Maybe just prop up the pillows behind my back?”

Shikamaru moved to help her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and lifting her slowly. Naruto stacked the pillows behind her and Shikamaru gently laid her back. Sakura felt a hundred times better, even as her head tried to adjust to the change in elevation. She smiled thankfully at both of them and Shikamaru handed her the glass of water.

She swallowed it greedily and Shikamaru gave her a soft chuckle before taking the glass and refilling it for her.

A medic came to check over her, hiding their nervousness well at having the medical director in their charge. Sakura smiled at them, trying to ease their nerves but probably only made it worse. She had some pride at the stern look they shot her as they ordered her to stay in the hospital for three more days as she recovered. She tried to argue to rest at her apartment, but the medic was adamant – _as they should be_ – and didn’t budge. Sakura sighed as they left the room.

The guys stayed with her, catching her up on random things on the village while she had been away. After a while, she noticed Naruto kept stealing glances at Shikamaru, who was sitting on the edge of her bed by her hip. When she caught his eye, he stopped, though she was sure Shikamaru had already noticed.

A couple hours later, Shikamaru stood up from the bed and slipped his hands into his pockets. Sakura’s eyes latched onto his warm ones as told her with an apologetic smile, “I promised my mother I’d stop by for dinner.” There was a pause before he added almost unsure, “I’ll come check on you later.”

Sakura smiled at him, a little worried at the tension in his shoulders. “Okay, Shika, tell her I said hi.”

He nodded and Sakura tried to not be too disappointed he left the room without giving her a kiss. Sakura turned to Naruto a moment after the door closed and raised an eyebrow at him. “What is wrong with you?”

Naruto looked at her taken aback. “What do you mean?”

“Why did you keep looking at Shikamaru like that? Are you mad at him or something?”

“No.” Naruto looked to the side like he was trying to put his thoughts together. “It’s just – why is he – I didn’t know you were even close to Shikamaru?”

Sakura felt a blush crawl up her neck. They had gone on a few more dates but hadn’t told anyone. Sakura figured Shikamaru’s mother still knew somehow, though. They hadn’t really talked about that kind of thing.

Sakura answered vaguely, “We’ve gotten closer over the last few months.”

Naruto hummed and leaned back in his chair. Sakura narrowed her eyes at him when he propped his feet up on her bed, but he ignored her glare. “I guess I just didn’t notice.”

Sakura looked down at the blankets over her and asked, “How long has he been here, by the way?”

She could feel his eyes on her as he answered, “Since you were brought in. I don’t know how he knew, but I heard in the morning and came to see you and he was already here.”

Sakura felt her heart clench knowing he’d probably been very worried about her and hadn’t even been able to express it with Naruto here. She couldn’t stop her smile though at the thought of him being by her side when she needed him.

“It was weird,” Naruto mumbled.

Sakura’s eyes went back to him annoyed. “Shikamaru is not _weird_ – “

“I didn’t say _he_ was but – come on, Sakura. _It’s_ weird.” Naruto looked at her defensively, holding out his hands. “I didn’t even know you guys hung out and to see him tired as hell by your bedside looking like – and the way you two are around each other, it’s almost like – “

“We’re dating, Naruto.” Sakura interrupted him with a sigh.

Naruto stood up from his chair and pointed a finger at her. “Ha! I _knew_ it!”

Sakura rolled her eyes at him and asked, “Yeah? Do you want a cookie?”

Naruto sat down on her bed with a grin. “So, when did it start?”

Sakura snorted and settled more into her pillows. “A few weeks ago.”

“You’re not telling anyone?”

“We haven’t really talked about it,” Sakura admitted in a quiet voice, not even wanting to go into details with Naruto without talking to Shikamaru first. But Naruto was her best friend so he shouldn’t be too surprised.

Naruto’s grin fell and he asked, “He’s keeping you a secret?”

“No, no, Naruto.” Sakura quickly defended him. She sighed and closed her eyes, trying to put her thoughts together. “It’s not like we said to not tell anyone. But I don’t know … it feels… we’re still figuring it out ourselves. I feel like we should have a firmer grasp on things before telling everyone.” It had felt like they’d been in a little bubble the past few months; just themselves learning about each other, gently caressing that _something_ between them. Sakura was selfish, she didn’t want anyone else to be involved in it.

Naruto chuckled and Sakura opened her eyes to see a teasing grin. “You _really_ like him, don’t you?”

Sakura blushed and beat down some embarrassment before telling him, “I do.”

Naruto nodded and then asked her after a moment, “I know you don’t like to talk about it – “

“Then, don’t say anything,” Sakura cut him off with a glare, already knowing where he was going.

Naruto sighed but relented, not pushing for once. “Alright.”

***

Naruto had already been gone an hour when Shikamaru came in through the window as Sakura was about to fall asleep. She couldn’t help her chuckle as his feet touched the ground. “Usually shinobi are sneaking out of the hospital, not _into_ them.”

Shikamaru smiled at her as he walked over to her, stopping at the edge of her bed. “Well, I knew they wouldn’t let me back in if I’d gone through the front.”

Sakura raised an eyebrow at him, a smile growing on her face as she reached a hand out for him and he intertwined their fingers. “Do you know that from experience?”

She felt some satisfaction in how his cheeks reddened in the dark room. “Maybe.”

Sakura laughed lightly and pulled on his hand. She scooted back in the bed and asked him tiredly, “Lay with me?”

Shikamaru’s eyes were warm as he smiled at her and Sakura didn’t think she’d ever get over that. He slipped off his vest and hung it on the guest chair before stepping out of his shoes and climbing into the small bed with her. Sakura sighed contently as his smoky scent hit her and she moved the blanket over him.

Shikamaru brought a hand up to hold her face, his thumb stroking across her cheekbone. He leaned forward to kiss her and whispered against her lips, “Sakura, I can’t sleep here.”

“Why not?” Sakura asked back, her fingers curling into his shirt.

He chuckled and told her, “I don’t think that’s allowed.” But he clearly didn’t care as he made himself comfortable, wrapping an arm around her waist.

Sakura rolled her eyes. “As the medical director, I think I can make an exception.”

“An exception for you?” Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at her and Sakura couldn’t help but lean forward to kiss his smile.

“Yes,” she mumbled between them with a smile.

After a moment, Sakura leaned back to look at him and said with a hint of nervousness, “You know, they _might_ let me go home if my boyfriend promises to stay with me.”

She could see the same nervousness reflected in his eyes. He hid it well, though, as his grip on her hip tightened and he said with an almost teasing tone, “Oh? Is that what I am?”

“If you want to be,” Sakura answered, then added with more commitment as she met his eyes, “I’d like you to be.”

“I do.” His voice was soft in the quiet of her hospital room, but his kiss was softer when he closed the distance between them. Sakura held him close to her and enjoyed the moment before leaning back, her pulse loud in her ears.

“There’s one thing, though…”

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at her. “Yeah?”

Sakura swallowed thickly and met his gaze. “I don’t care about shadows. I… I want to know if you do. If – if _that_ doesn’t happen, if you’re going to leave. Because if you do, then – “

Sakura was interrupted as Shikamaru pressed his lips against hers making her breath catch in her throat. She kissed him back as he deepened it, losing all sense of thought as she tangled her fingers in his hair, ruining his ponytail. If she hadn’t been breathless already when he broke away, she would’ve been at the wide smile he gave her and how it softened the longer he looked at her.

“I used to, Sakura. I used to care a lot about them. But I – I don’t anymore. I don’t need it to be happy.”

Sakura let out a sigh of relief and pulled him closer to her. She kissed the corner of his mouth before tucking her head under his chin and burying her face in his neck. Shikamaru leaned his head against hers and she fell asleep with him combing his fingers through her hair.

***

Years passed and their feet remained bare, without the attachment of a dark outline.

People who saw how they were with each other told them it was only a matter of time. It was usually people who didn’t know them well and they just smiled at them with a shrug. They didn’t care if they weren’t soulmates.

It was three years later and Shikamaru was at his mother’s kitchen sink helping her with the dishes. It reminded him of that night Sakura showed up on the doorstep with a blanket and an invitation to watch the stars with her. Shikamaru felt himself smile as he dried a plate.

He told his mother in a quiet voice without looking at her, “I’m going to ask her to marry me.”

Yoshino gasped beside him and seconds later she had her arms around him, dishes clinking loudly from her dropping them into the sink. Shikamaru hugged her back as she laughed happily and didn’t comment on the tears in her eyes.

Sakura may not be who the world decided was his soulmate. But he loved her, and he didn’t think he could ever love anyone more.

She didn’t have to be his soulmate.

She was so much more than that.


End file.
